Do we really have a clue about who we are? Do we live our lives with the wrong perception of ourselves? If we have the wrong perception of ourselves, then do we not also have the wrong perception of others?
As Samuel went to find a king among the sons of Jesse, he was told by God "Do not judge him by his appearance or height, God does not look at what man looks at. Man looks at the appearance, God looks at the heart." This theme was reflected throughout David's life. If without naming David, I wrote down all the evil deeds that he performed in his life and asked you what kind of person you thought he was- you would more than likely say that he was a wicked evil man. Yet scripture says repeatedly that he was a man after God's own heart. Indeed David did fall into much sin in his life. From looking at the appearance of King Daid's actions, we would not thing of him as a reighteous king. So what are we to say of David's actions, why did he repeatedly fall into sin if he was indeed a man after God's own heart. I believe firmly that it is because David repetaedly made the error of defining himself by the external and insignificant- and that this kept pulling him a way from the internal fiber of being a man after God's own heart- (though as we know from scripture he always submitted to God's rebuke and repented when needed). More adequately stated, David was caught in his insecurity- the belief that what God had designed him was not sufficient enough to sustain him.
Is the error of David any different than our own lives? In our society there is much evidence of how we define ourselves by the external and insignificant. People say something that hurts our feelings and we dwell on it for a long time, we are told we are weird or that we are a bad person and so we begin to portray our personality in such a way as to fulfill the role which others have ascribed to our lives, we allow our career paths- to be the very things that define who we are and neglect to get in touch with the substance of whom God has called us to be. We turn to many things to build our definition and in so doing often hide away our hearts- because we fear that if we truly live from the heart it will not be sufficient enough to sustain us. Then when we burn out on our lives, we often become bitter and point the finger at God.
As long as we are judging ourselves with the wrong perception, we are also judging others with the wrong perception. Our judgment of others is based on our desire to knock them off "the pedestal" so that we ourselves can take center stage. In so doing we fail to discover the innermost being God has designed us for, and hide away our hearts all the more. When we hide away our heart, not only do we neglect the fiber of our being but we also neglect the hearts of those who need us to demonstrate God's love in a very real and extraordinary way.
In what ways have you hidden your heart away? Allow God to be a part of helping you find it so that you can truly discover the fiber of your innermost being which he designed the very moment you were created (Psalms 139:13).